Did modern feminism backfire on us?

(By Nia Leanne — Food for Thought with Nia Leanne)

So there I was, watching a YouTube debate — as one does — between “trad wives” and “boss babes” (shoutout to The Dr. Daf Show) when one prompt really stuck out:

“Modern feminism has failed women more than it has helped them.”

That one hit.

When it comes to men, we still have no grace — which I get, considering many still battle demons of greed, lust, and ego. But somewhere along the way, we stopped shaming men for being sexaholics and serial cheaters, and started becoming the sexaholics and serial cheaters ourselves.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the rebellion — but it’s low-vibrational. It’s not as freeing as we think. We’re losing respect — from the few respectable men left, and honestly, from ourselves. At the end of the day, we’re still the ones who deal with the effects of the “whore” label, while men remain the “bosses” and “G’s.”

So what are we still doing wrong? I thought we were leveling the playing field.

This version of “feminism” clearly isn’t working, so what now? We went wrong when we decided to stoop down to their level. Somewhere along the line, women lost touch with their feminine energy trying to keep up with men and their trauma. Yes, part of that came from how men treated women — passing down pain and mistrust — but truthfully, we shouldn’t be living in our masculine unless that’s who we truly are. Do you, 100 percent — that’s the motto.

I’m talking about the ones who once wanted to live their softest lives, but are now moving like these big-back men… no offense. Is having hope foolish?

Food for Thought

Did we really switch roles — Freaky Friday style?
Are men operating in their feminine, forcing women into their masculine?
Or did women fall so deep into their masculine to protect themselves that men got soft?
How did this happen — and can we switch it back? Like, immediately?

Double Standards Still Exist

Men have never been held to the same standard as women. They should be, but the world often lets them roam free while women have always had rules.

I’ve come to understand that rules were meant to protect us — but why weren’t boys held accountable before they became men? Why weren’t they taught the same moral compass, told things like “no sex before marriage”?

Maybe modern feminism isn’t the root problem but a symptom of a failing society. Are parents to blame? Biology? History? Food for thought.

Of course, men should still be held accountable — they’re not children anymore. But forget them for a second. The real question is: how do we fix this for the next generation?
Can we, when they’re already shaped by the ones before them?

How do we break such a widespread curse? Will double standards ever truly change, or is this just the way of the world? And if it doesn’t change, would it be better to return to traditional gender roles while still embracing progress? Would we be happier? 

Moral Compass Over Gender Wars

In all honesty, we shouldn’t aspire to be like men; we should aspire to be like Christ — believer or not. We should strive to be the best versions of ourselves. Both men and women need to live by the same moral compass. If we did, maybe the next generation would actually have a chance.

Yes, we deserve equality in pay, rights, and opportunity — the things that shouldn’t be gender-specific. But men should still be men, and women should still be women, each in their own right.

Just as a child has a role and a teacher has a role, men and women each have theirs. And if we performed those roles well, maybe we’d finally find belonging and peace. Right? Maybe?

Choices, Energy, and Attraction

Some women genuinely want to stay home, raise kids, and care for their husband — and that’s okay, if it’s truly her choice and she has a masculine partner. But let’s be real — men in full masculine mode might not be as ideal as we think.

Other women want to be in their boss era, and that’s fine too — but they often attract men who lean more into their feminine, and those men may feel insecure about her being the “man.” Relationships are complicated.

Trad Wives, Boss Babes, and Redirected Energy

Trad wives are often rooted in Christ, and honestly, that lifestyle feels natural — maybe even biological. So maybe the question isn’t whether modern feminism hurt women, but whether it redirected our energy.

If your career is your main focus, it becomes like a husband or a child. Many “boss babes” would agree. But would an actual husband you truly love — or a child that’s the spitting image of you — fulfill you more? Or did men and society ruin that vision for you?

Are We Just Off Balance?

What if I want it all — the career, the husband, the kids, the home?
Is it possible to have it all and truly enjoy it all?

Maybe the conflict isn’t about trad wives versus boss babes, gender roles, or feminism. Maybe it’s about balance.

Men need to balance their masculine and feminine, and so do women. We’ve evolved past fitting into boxes — now the challenge is learning to balance our dualities. Maybe the roles had to switch for us to understand each other. Maybe we had to experience both sides to truly grow.

Maybe — just maybe — this chaos is part of enlightenment.

Final Thought

At the end of the day, the most important thing is to know who you are and live your most authentic life — whether society agrees or not.
Do you, boo, just don’t hurt nobody.
Live, laugh, and keep loving.