What is the purpose of our twenties?

By Nia Leanne — Food for Thought with Nia Leanne

“What’s the purpose of our twenties?” If you could skip this stage, would you? Everyone says your twenties are for fun… but what if they’re really our testing ground?

We hear it all the time:

“Your twenties are for dating, traveling, going out, getting drunk — rep rep, periodt, turn up!”

But right next to that narrative sits another:

“Start that business. Stack your bread. Study hard. Work three jobs while you still can. Invest!”

So which is it? Freedom… or foundation? Is this choice really ours to even make? Or maybe the real question is: what are we actually meant to do with these years?

Same Age, Different Realities

Let’s be real: these twenties don’t look the same for everyone. Some of us are signing our own leases, while others have theirs signed for them. Some are juggling survival and self-discovery at the same time, trying to make something out of nothing.

And then there are those who move through life like they’re in a bubble — untouched by the chaos that most people’s early adulthood throws at them. Over time, I personally started to see these differences through a spiritual lens. Maybe none of it is random. Maybe every path is intentionally designed — even though it usually doesn't make sense in the moment, it usually does in the end. 

We’re all being shaped for a purpose unique to our story. And if you ask me… God loves a dramatic plot twist.

The Blessing in the Burden

It’s easy to envy privilege — to assume those born into comfort have no real problems — but that’s never the full picture. Struggle and privilege just teach different lessons. Often, our biggest burdens are directly tied to our purpose and desires.

Think about it: why do so many artists, innovators, and creatives come from the trenches? When resources are limited, creativity becomes survival. And even if that creativity came from necessity, the spark was already in them. Some talents are God-given — they can’t be learned, only enhanced.

Our twenties? That’s when we decide whether to walk in that truth — that purpose — or take another path. That “DIY energy” becomes identity. You learn to build, fix, and dream because no one’s coming to save you.

Of course, this is just one scenario, and some people can't find that blessing and get buried by the burdens instead. It makes you wonder: if our lives are already written out, are some of us destined to "fail" based on our personalities and choices? Are the burdens the problem or is it us? Food for thought. I also wonder: should we just accept our trials? Trust the process? Are some of our burdens written in the stars as well?

Living in the In-Between

Some people weren’t raised in the trenches, but they weren’t born into wealth either — they existed somewhere in between. That in-between space, where you have to make things work, teaches self-reliance, invention, and faith. But there’s a duality in both having and lacking in that “in-between.”

Maybe that tension sparks some of our biggest indecisions between — como se dice… purpose vs. safety. Eventually, you hit a point in your twenties where you sit and stare at your life for the first time in the realest way and wonder: is all of this part of a master plan?

Maybe it is. Maybe it’s true that you had to live this life, walk these paths, and arrive at this crossroads to finally decide how you want to start your life.

Destiny vs. Free Will

Are our lives mapped out before we even live them? If you believe in God, you probably believe in some form of destiny. But even then — if everything is already written, why do we still have choice? Is choice real… or just premeditated without us even knowing?

This makes me think of Bible study with the girls when we studied The Last Supper. Feel free to read Matthew 26:23–25, John 13:21–30, and Luke 22:31–34. Yes, I had to look it up, but it might help answer that question about how our personalities—or being oblivious to certain traits—can sometimes lead to our downfall. I won’t get too “churchy,” so I’ll leave it at that.

Maybe destiny sets the blueprint, and free will is how we move through it. The choices are ours — but the lessons? They were always meant to find us.

Final Thought

Your twenties don’t have to look like anybody else’s. Some people bloom early… others bloom after the storm. Either way, it’s all divine timing. It’s intentional. Life is specific.

Maybe these years aren’t about choosing between chaos and control. Maybe they’re about learning to breathe in the middle of both.

And honestly? I don’t think we’re “finding” ourselves. Most of us already know who we are — we just got buried under expectations, pressure, and survival.

Maybe our twenties are about shedding all that weight and becoming who our struggles said we couldn’t be… and who our privileges say we can be, so we can finally find our path.

Whether your struggles come from the hills or the gully, the question is the same:

Who do you choose to become now that you finally know what you’re made of?